can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize