well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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