porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize