I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
