just come out here and I will go home with you...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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