Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
