please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
