im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
