Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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