Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize