Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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