why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
