And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
