so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
