When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
