we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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