So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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