hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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