Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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