brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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