just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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