Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
