The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
They have beer where we have blood.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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