My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just high enough for therapy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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