you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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