I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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