he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
