If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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