K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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