her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
