Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
