tell your sister to shave her snatch
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
