My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize