he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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