just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
