So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
pop tarts are not kleenex
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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