i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
