Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
