Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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