Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
