how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
