It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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