fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize