So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
