I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
