umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's blow job season.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
