I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Holy sore nipples Batman
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
