i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
