Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
