I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
