yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
