The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
