This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This house was built for laser tag.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
