a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You need Xanax blowdarts
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
