bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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