ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
