So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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