Where is the hickey?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
