You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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