party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
