We won't sleep together?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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