I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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