she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
