We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
