first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
3 2 1 whiskey
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
