I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
