I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize