so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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