he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize