You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
