I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
