How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize