whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
