the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize