i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
