I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
