69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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